Yoga+Tea+Cookies+Muffins: it's not as rosey as it sounds

After a few roadblocks, I went ahead and hosted a class in Maple Ridge over the family day long weekend. It's taken me awhile to sit with expressing my gratitude as I came up against some serious questions, prompted by external confrontations prior to the class itself. In the days leading up to the practice I was asking myself:

What gives me the right to teach the ancient and sacred practices that make up our modern day yoga classes?

What do I gain from leading practices? What, if anything, do others gain by practicing by my guidance?

And that first one, it felt as heavy and shocking as it sounds "what gives me the right..."

Nothing.

Absolutely no one and nothing gives me the right to teach classes; it's not about being right or being bestowed the right. It's about being happy. If you're not happy (you're probably not going to listen to my suggestions, nor your parents and no matter how many likes you give to that instagram influencer with the fancy blue check mark, you probably won't even listen to them unless it's a hash-taggable/filter applied challenge... BUT...) You should do what you need to, to be happy. Go through the darkness, sit in that sticky, shitty mess that you find yourself in... The world is friggin' sour enough to be no stranger to dark times. Be different, be you, BE HAPPY.

DO. THE. SELF. WORK

I was fortunate to share unique space with students -- friends like family for this yoga+tea practice. I'm grateful for a few things:

the somewhat silent support from people who agreed to and did behind the scenes work to allow this to come to fruition

the courage of people to come, despite any potential disencouragement

the 2 hours of time I spent in supportive and loving company to make this particular practice, an emotional memory in my life

It's through my decade+ of practices that I've lived my dark experiences. Discovering, crossing and staying committed to my personal boundaries (and in connection, my abilities) is where I lead classes from. The movements of practices are an expression of emotions and experiences.. the whole experience of 'living life' isn't in your head - I repeat:

IT'S NOT JUST IN YOUR HEAD

The whole experience of living life is an expression of your humanship...

When I leave this world and all my time in it I want to be happy. So, I am proud to say I followed through on hosting a local-to-home yoga class and I plan to do it again. And again, and again. What gives me the right? Happiness does.

{I will do my best to not let} my light dim to satisfy others' beliefs of me or what I ought to do.. I'm not shaking my finger at them tsk-tsking for bad behaviour; through my practice I realize the truth is how I show up in this world and by not showing up.. I give in to the darkness:

I am light

I love myself more for overcoming the hesitation and knee-jerk reaction to cancel because of my fears, because of what lies in the darkness. Thank you friends, for your support and for helping me love myself, just as I am {I am enough}.

I look forward to our next practice together. The last picture, bottom right corner, is: my father, Herbie, myself and Daniel... A special moment in my life, personally to be cherished for years to come "it really is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Journal opportunity:

• Think of a time you did something or took action for the benefit of appeasing someone else. What do you feel when you think about this?

• Who is someone in your life you confide in when you feel pressured to be a certain way and are trying to come to terms with what is required of you or when you are trying to call on your courage to 'rebel' and do what feels right for you?

• Have you ever been the person someone confides in when they are struggling with pressure to do/be a certain way? What advice, encouragement or support did you give/offer/demonstrate to them?

Be well friends,

Brittaney